Ugh

Well, the new meds suck. The good part about only taking them once a day means if I miss them, by the time I remember I'm sick.  It's seriously cramping my style.  I had a gig last night and while getting ready at the venue, I got the familiar cramping and pain, then I started to shake. None of those are a good sign - especially when trying to squeeze into fishnets and a corset to take the stage for an hour plus set.  I sat in the bathroom, trying to breathe, trying to decide what to do.  I sat there long enough to curse the delicious Mexican food we ate when getting to the venue early. I prayed to whatever ulcerative colitis god there is up there to let me get through the gig, and listened to my usual inside voice telling me to calm down, and I'd get through it like I have so many times in the past.  After a while, and getting mildly sick in the bigger picture of a colitis flare,  I started to feel better, and just kept my fingers crossed. I drank a lot of water.  And I made it through the gig, and home.  Whew.

A friend of mine is getting ready to go through the reconnection surgery.  I can't recall if I've written about this before, but it's the surgery that most of us dread BUT also the one almost everyone says they wished they had done 20 years before. In the surgery they removed the diseased part of the colon and then reconnect those pieces.  It's amazing it can even be done and for most intents and purposes, cure the colitis.  Most of us with UC go through our lives dealing with significant pain, friends and family who don't understand our illness, and just try to make it day to day.  I'm nervous, excited, and envious for my friend - even though its the thing that all of us try to avoid.  I'm worried that these new meds which aren't working as well - and may be taking my colitis out of its quiescent state - will mean surgery is more likely in my future are some point.  Ugh.